Dog Ownership in NYC
Three years ago I bought a dog from a breeder in North Carolina. This post discusses some things I wish I knew, some lessons it taught me, and some things I'm still struggling with
Initial motivations
There are a lot of reasons I thought getting a dog would be beneficial to my life, and some reasons I chose the specific breed rather than adopting.
I love dogs. I enjoy being around them, and revel in the joy he brings to most everyone he spends time with.
I had decided to spend more time in New York, and move around less. I thought New York was a very dog friendly city (more on that later).
I enjoy being outdoors. Having a dog would both be extra encouragement, and company on trails.
I own a camper van, and was planning on doing some long roadtrips. An active dog would makes an excellent roadtrip buddy.
I planned on spending some winters in Mexico or Colombia, but if I got a small enough dog I could take him with on the flights.
Adopting versus buying
It's complicated. Many friends have very strong opinions on buying versus adopting, and I do agree with most of them. But the reality of the matter is that I don't think adopting was an option for me, because most dogs would not be compatible with my lifestyle.
For me I did want to fairly specific breed. My criteria was small (the limit for taking them on a plane is 15lb), but also active, since I was hoping to take him on extremely long hikes. The common breeds for that are Dachshunds, Chihuahuas, Pomeranians and some terriers (Norfolk, Norwich, Yorkshire).
For a while I tried to find a dog up for adoption that matched that, but couldn't find any. Eventually I settled on a lovely Norfolk Terrier breeder based in North Carolina. I've been to visit her property, and look forward to going back for a visit.
Puppies versus older dogs
I got my dog when he was three months old. That meant I was in for all of the training, potty training, and high energy years. But it also meant that his future behavior was somewhat in my control.
Most adopted dogs turn out fine, and adopting at around the two year old mark means you get to skip a lot of the harder parts. But sometimes the dogs are barely trainable. I have a friend with a dog that have serious seperation anxiety. Many professional trainers later she's reclaiming the ability to travel, but there was a penalty. The risks aren't zero with a puppy, but provided you're diligent about training, they sure are lower.
Also holy shit puppies are cute. The amount of "awwwwes" I got on the street while raising my little guy were a reward by themselves. (Sure here's a photo of him as a puppy.)
Dog training
So I made the decision to spend the next 10-15 years of my life with this "monster" (read affectionately)... and it's an interesting dynamic. He's essentially stuck with me, as I am with him. But he didn't get a choice in the matter.
Some of the recommended training seemed a little too imposing for my liking. I want him to understand the important safety commands, but also give him as much freedom as possible within those bounds.
It may have helped that he's extremely smart. But he's also got a naughty side. I'm okay with all of it. I'm proud that I've gotten to the point where I'm comfortable walking through some cities with him offleash (not NYC!). He clearly understands that roads are dangerous, and will listen to my "wait!" command more consistently than his occasional disobedient streaks in the park.
There was a combination of luck and hard concious training work, but besides a couple quirks I'm extremely happy with where he's at. And the quirks make him, him,
Responsibility
I think the most beneficial way having a dog has changed my life is truly being responsible for another beings life. This has deeply affected how I view parts of the world, and a greater appreciation for people who've chosen to raise kids.
A life where you're ultimately responsible for another concious beings experience is a very different day to day experience. Whatever I'm doing I am always in part concious of where he is, and if I should be worried about him.
A leash has two ends
Inteligence is often detrimental to happiness, and I think he's a prime examle of that. He's constantly trying to optimize for more food or toys, but he often struggles within the limitations I impose on him.
One of the interesting things I've noticed is how different his behavior is on and off leash. When he's free and off leash he's a really easy dog to walk with. He'll go off and look for food, but always look back to make sure I'm with him, scurrying back to me when he gets too far away.
On leash is completely different story. I think the realization that I can't leave him, encourages him to be more forceful in communicating what he wants and trying to pull in directions I don't want to go. Often he prefers the leash, because he knows I can't leave him behind. It's helpful when walking off-leash in cities though, beause he doesn't try avoid the connection.
Dog friendly cities: no dogs allowed
I've travelled a lot with a dog, and while New York isn't the bottom of the list on dog friendly... it's not great.
In New York it's illegal to bring a pet into a place that serves food, so all restaurants and most coffee shops are out. Even if the owners are okay with it, or the food service is completely separate.
I do bring him into coffee shops, judging by the vibe, but never if there's a clear "no dogs allowed" sign. If the owners/staff ever ask I'll happily leave with him, and if there's a legal issue (never has been) I'll claim I told them he's a service dog. I don't want to put the owners at risk there,
That said if I'm spending all day with him walking around, there'll often be cases where I really want to pop in somewhere for a couple minutes but can't. Bathrooms are a good example for that. If you're out with a friend/partner it's easier... but right now that's often not the case. Asking people to watch your dog is a good excuse to chat to strangers though, and have made some friends in the process.
The problems with NYC don't stop there though. He's eaten drugs off the ground before (probably weed), almost been hit by a motorbike ramping the sidewalk (he's small and easy to miss), and there was the one time a crazy guy tried to steal him right in front of me. On top of that winters are rough, the salt that we cover the city cut up his paws, and I haven't found a pair of dog shoes that he won't fight.
Comparing it to Mexico City, where I currently am with him, is a competely different story. At least in the gringo bubble (Roma Norte / Condesa) it feels safe to have him off leash on the sidewalks, and most businesses are okay with dogs. The grocery stores often have guarded places to leave them while you pop in for a minute, and even gyms have "dog parking" areas.
Dogs in apartments
This one really depends on what breed of dog you have, but I think it most cases it feels cruel to lock a dog inside for long periods of time. I'm good at trying to max out at 5 hours, with the exception of overnight, but it'd be way better for him if he had an way outside.
Some lazy breeds and personalities seem content with lounging all day, but my guy definitely isn't on that list. Besides the few days where I manage to fully exhaust him, he'd always prefer to be out with me.
So many restrictions
I think one of the reality of living with a dog is that there are many things you just can't do. Here's a sampling of some that I've encountered recently:
Most famous national park trails are not dog friendly. Unless you can find someone to watch them (which is hard) you're often stuck on the worse trails.
Mexico City busses in general don't allow dogs. I only found this out after booking accomodation, and wasted a bunch of money paying a private driver for transport because I couldn't find another option.
Other activies I love (such as hot springs) are often not dog friendly, and it's sometimes impossible to work them into a schedule while being back in time for the pups dinner. [Back in NYC I can schedule dog walkers for this.]
Spontaneous adventures are harder, especially if you've left the dog at home or it's not dog frendly. Going home to quickly feed and walk my dog means missing out on a lot.
Spending the night somewhere else is rarely an option. Unless I planned it and could bring my dog along, I'd have to rush back home earlier than I'd like to.
Longer travel plans
Besides the day to day restrictions, there are some countries that I can't take him to. South Africa, my home, for example. I'm going back for a couple weeks and I fond someone to watch him... but that's about my limit. I don't feel okay leaving him with pople for more than a month.
In a world where I didn't have a dog, I'd love to consider spending a couple months back in Cape Town every year. But in my current reality, that's just not an option. That's okay, but it's a limitation I should've thought more about beforehand.
One more scary note on international travel, is that the return trip isn't guaranteed. If your dog has any injuries most countries won't permit him in. He cut his paw getting into an elevator in Colombia, and if it happened later in the trip I would have been stuck waiting for it to heal.
Finally I also almost screwed up on his rabies vaccine on my first trip. The US doesn't accept Colombia-given vaccines, so when it almost expired I had to race him back while he was still allowed in.
Flying with a service animal
My plan was to fly with him as a pet in cabin, and one of the big reasons I wanted to buy a breed that could fit in the bags that requires.
I took him to Colombia last year with that regulation, but it didn't work as well as I had hoped. The only airline that allowed dogs had a layover in Panama City, and I found out that airport doesn't have a pet bathroom. I'm glad he's well trained, but I could see how much pain he was in after nine hours without a chance to pee. (Note: maybe train your dog to use indoor pee mats).
On that trip, I met someone who fraudulently used the service dog all the time. Understanding it a bit more, there's no agency that actually controls it, so all it takes is a doctors note saying you need one (actual reason isn't required).
I recognise abuse of this regulation might eventually harm people who actually need service dogs, but I would argue the incremental damage caused by the rare trip with my well trained small dog is negligable. I still travel with him in a bag at my feet, and he usually just sleeps through the flights.
Conclusions
I’m extremely happy I decided to bring a dog into my life. But there are some real downsides, and I realise I jumped in before understanding them. I wrote this to explain my thinking on that matter, and share with friends considering the leap.
